On that day, we were told to wait for surgeon for an advice. We break for a while and have tea dekat café hospital. Masa tu macam-macam perasaan keluar. What if xder option what if mak x tahan for the treatment. Rasa nak keluar air mata tapi kutahan untuk bina kekuatan diri. Kalaula kat hospital tak ramai orang dah lama berjujuran. I need to be strong for her. Then me and hubby berbual kosong utk divert the attention.
After discussion with surgeon, dr advice not to undergo any operation or chemo due to age, hormon and struktur tubuh yang membongkok (which for normal people, operation will be the 1st and easiest choice-then baru chemo).
Dr will provide medicine to consume in daily basis to kecutkan the size, however the changes is 10%.
What if mak is not under that 10%. She said mak will still needs to undergo the operation but in half awake. The operation takkan clean up all and afraid kanser akan tumbuh after few mths.
Ya Allah, apalagi cara yang ada untuk tolong mak. I google and read more about cancer patient, cuba cari jalan alternative. Before that, we also went to private to get 2nd opinion. They also need to wait for biopsy result too and if +ve cancer, dr said they need to kecutkanthe size then only last stage baru operation. However dr remind us, due to age issue, we may need to prepare and buffer more incase impact other things. That makes us decide for the time being remain dekat government for long term treatment.
Since size is matter, right now our objective is to kecutkan ia and make it small. I try few other alternative and supplement and made own air penawar based on petikan n bacaan ayat quran.
Usaha n terus usaha,doa n tawakal.
Kesian bila mak mengeluh sakit, sakitnya dtg n pergi in few second or minutes. Sampai bila nak bergantung pada ubat tahan sakit? Kekadang anak2 and me melayan mak buatkan dia lupakan rasa sakit itu. Untuk kurang bergantung pada ubat tahan sakit.
Kadang kami bawa mak berjalan makan angin minum2 petang untuk elak boring terperap dalam rumah. Tapi kami awasi pengambilan gula mak untuk elakkan pertumbuhan kanser. Itu yang kami tahu. Yang kami tak tahu banyak lagi…….
Cukup ke apa yg kami dah buat? Bertambah baik atau tidakkah semua ini? Semua kami tak tahu sbb based on size looks like the same.
Yg merasai n apa ada dlm ketulan itu kami tak tahu. Getting better kah ia or makin worst?
Takut tuhan soalkan apa sumbangan mu sewaktu mak n arwah ayah diuji sakit dulu.
Apa perananmu utk berlaku adil pada mertua diwaktu kau sibuk melayan keluarga n mak sendiri.
Ya Allah ampunkan aku. Tlg aturkan hidup ini untuk terus berjasa pada mereka n berlaku adil…..
Aminnnn
Anyway ni kenangan 2018 bersama atuk mak. 1st time for her and us except ayah naik flight. Allhamudlillah respond dari mak sgt positif. Sedap rupanya naik kapal terbang ya mcm duduk atas kerusi…….
The next day jenjalan di Langkawi cable car and island hopping hanya kami berempat. Ayah temankan atuk mak di bilik. Bila petang, kami lepak tepi laut n bawa atuk mak jalan2 menikmati pemandangan n hirup udara segar sambal tangan atuk mak berzikir. Overall trip last minutes ke Langkawi memang best.
Pernah ajak ibu mertua jenjalan lepak hotel masa arif kecil masa merua tinggal Bersama dari Kedah ke Penang. Pernah bawa arwah ayah lepak hotel di JB masa dia ada treatment di Hospital Tun Aminah JB. Kali ni 1st time experience bawa mak pula jalan2 lepak hotel.
